Image

   What is time? Someone would say: “It is one of measurements of the space”. Someone else will say: “It is a kind of thing the change of which brings the change of other things”. However, my point of view is: “Time is nothing”.
  One of the distinct human weaknesses is to be afraid of time. It is peculiar to human being to have a list of prejudices of which he is anxious about. The attitude to time is one of the first prejudices in this list. Great problem of human being is that he is afraid of time because he appreciates “time” as a factor which changes his substantial appearance. People used to take care only of their physical state. Actually, inner state is not a big deal for today’s person. Many people simply do not know that inner state influences physical condition more than anything else. For example, if someone has a stress for several days actually he would not look good. Very often inner state puts us in a spot. I cannot blame anyone for being too stressful about ”being old” and so on, because the same problems I had almost all my life before one special day in autumn quiet evening did not bring changes to it.
  Many years ago I loved the man whose name was Hafiz, truly beautiful name which means “poet” in translation from ancient Farsi language. Even if it was not long continuing love, it has brought me a lot of vivid memories. I do not know exactly were that feelings that I had during indescribable 3 months love or maybe it was more than simple love because the sensation of that feelings is still with me after 20 years of adult life. Moreover, of course, there are times in life, especially in youth when we just think out that we are in love. Nevertheless, much of time passed from those days but still this person was in my mind.
  It took place in one of small cities of Italy where I was sent by my parents for holidays. Sun, sea, beach and people! Our love was almost the same as you can meet in attractive novels. Yet these wonderful days had passed and my future with other man was waiting me ahead.
  Subsequently, after 20 years I just decided to visit that city again and arranged my trip. It was exciting to visit again my favorite places of youth and love. The first place that I called was the park of sanatorium which was popular in this small city. I had rested there few times during my holidays before. In quiet October evening I came out from hotel and went straight to the park. The usual everyday rain suddenly stopped and weather promised to be better this night. I was wandering in the park more than 3 hours and had no idea about time. I was 42 years that moment and life that I held seemed me not appropriate. Thus, I had feelings of fault before it. Exactly that time I suffered difficult period because I divorced with my husband. I was walking and thinking about all mistakes that I did. Although I was forty two, I looked more than fifty. That feeling was just knifing me. I had an idea that my life is over and so I have no other chance to be happy. Absorbed with these thoughts I suddenly stroke against one park’s paths. That moment it seemed so familiar to me. Actually it was well-known way. I was spending all days of my holidays there, my favorite place which reminded of happy days when I was in love with Hafiz. I came there after so many years and there were no changes. On the other hand, it was even strange. Although it became even more attractive. I had never seen this place in the fall. Unexpectedly, I became happy. The scene that appeared before me forced to remember an incredible moments of my youth love. My dates, kisses and unbelievable minutes of communication with Hafiz seemed so close. I saw bench, the same bench that stood here more than 20 years ago. How I liked this bench, no one can imagine. The minutes when we were sitting together on it were blissful instants of my life. It was so small and when we were together, all my body felt the warmness of his presence, touches of his hands, his breathing. It seemed that I am feeling it again and again. The small table on which usually our books laid! Fascinated with their readings we just forgot about existing World! Communication with him was something that added to my organism positive emotions. We could be together so many hours forgetting about food and drink. The trees seemed more gorgeous because of changing colors from green to yellow. It often gave the impression that they specially did not move for not disturbing our wild discussions. Sometimes we thought they listened us and grew in nature of love and happiness. That path by which we walked holding our hands. I still cannot forget my heartbeat that accompanied me the time when I saw him. It looked like my young heart would break these moments. It was a sensation of something in my throat which came from beneath. My soul was full of love. Even now I still could hear his steps on this nice path. We perceived as an angel the figure of little girl on the dog standing on other side of path. It was so amazing. We could look on it for many hours just keeping silence and feeling felicity.
   Suddenly these memories aroused in me the thirst for life. Before coming here I was thinking I had little to live and maybe my life is over. However when a beautiful picture became visible for me I found out the time is not so important category of our life and we should use it in most effective way. Wrinkles are not such a significant matter to suffer yet. The main point is how you feel yourself inside.
  The time! Does it matter to have a time or no? Even if the time separated us, it could not change my feelings towards him. Time did not change all beauties of nature and our favorite places. Time is nothing. I understand from that minute that main thing- is what you feel and how you feel inside of yourself.